Some nights I lay awake

Just my thoughts and I
Tears streaming down
Wondering if I actually said
What I was feeling out loud
Would it change anything?
I hurt so deeply
I’m numb
I don’t trust anyone enough…
Enough for them to understand
But not pity me
Don’t get me wrong
I’m no damsel in distress
I just long for some understanding…

Understanding from a familiar place

From days gone past

A lifetime ago

A long lost dream
I dream to get back to
But not in this life I’m afraid
I would have to travel a long way
Or so it would seem in this dimension
But a blink of an eye in the next
I dream of the home
Where she is
My home
You left me stranded
Now I seek shelter
In places that somewhat bear some resemblance
To you but deep down I know are just cheap thrills
Temporary highs to balance out the lows
I found a good one for a while
I felt like I could breathe again
Just like Novacaine
I could feel some version of normal
This new normal
I did not choose this you see
There are no rules or guidelines
You take what’s handed to you
And make a nickle of it
In this moment
If I had the chance to
I would be greedy and make you stay
Stay just a little bit longer
Stay so I can tell you
About everything you won’t get to be a part of
Stay just so I can have more time
Time is nothing but an illusion
An illusion I wish did not apply to us
I dream of my home
That familiar scent
That radiance of love
That feeling of comfort
That liberating feeling of safety
My home is a three letter word